Merriam-Webster defines motherhood as “a female parent.” Simple enough. But real life tells a fuller story. Every Mother’s Day, we celebrate motherhood, yet too often through a narrow lens.
Many define it only by pregnancy and childbirth. While giving birth is powerful and sacred, it is not the only doorway into motherhood. Motherhood is also defined by those who give care, guidance, protection, sacrifice, stability and love. There are many entry points into motherhood, and all deserve to be seen.
Motherhood comes in many forms
To the mothers who carried life in their bodies, we honor you. Pregnancy can bring joy, but also exhaustion, sickness, fear, complications, sacrifice and permanent change. Some endured the indescribable pain of childbirth. Some endured emergency deliveries and body-altering C-sections. Some carry stretch marks, scars and silent memories of what it took to bring life into this world. Happy Mother’s Day.
And for some, motherhood did not begin in a hospital room. It began with a decision to open their hearts and their homes. I know this because I lived it. In so many of these examples, I see my own mother. She understood the value of adoption because her father is not her birth father.
She became a foster mother and welcomed four siblings who could have been separated and raised apart. They came to us at 5, 7, 8 and 12 years old. They aged out of the system but never out of our family. We love you Joe, Justin, Micah and Samantha. Happy Mother’s Day to the foster mothers around the world.
Motherhood can also begin by stepping into a family already in motion. After more than 20 years together, my parents separated. My mother later married a father with three daughters and a toddler son who had just lost his birth mother. She became a stepmother, supporting his parenting. I see you. Happy Mother’s Day to stepmothers around the world.
Sometimes motherhood stretches across generations. My sister became a mother at 18, making me an auntie. I watched my mother help raise him while supporting my sister as a young parent. Later, she did the same as my sister raised her daughter. That showed me how grandmothers often continue mothering through wisdom, child care, stability and unconditional love. I see you. Happy Mother’s Day to the grandmothers helping raise their grandchildren.
A safe place for children
Some women mother through the homes they create. My mother’s house has always been the kind of home where family members came, stayed, healed and even raised their children. Growing up, I did not always appreciate it because I like quiet and my own space. But her house taught compassion, patience, sharing and how to support others when life gets heavy. I see you. Happy Mother’s Day to the women whose homes became a refuge for others.
Like my mother did for her nephew, some aunties are a safe place. The emergency contact. The one who slips money in your hand, gives advice your parents could not reach you with and loves you without needing credit. For many children, an auntie is the bridge between struggle and stability. I see you. Happy Mother’s Day to the aunties who mother in quiet but powerful ways.
Some educators mother beyond the classroom every day. They notice when a student is struggling. They encourage potential a child may not see in themselves. They provide structure, accountability, warmth and belief when young people need it most. Sometimes a teacher, counselor, coach or librarian becomes a steady source of care that shapes a life forever. I know that personally from my time at Germantown High School.
Women like OG Sara KZ, an English teacher of mine who made sure everything she stood for was about diversity, inclusivity and loving yourself. And my librarian, Mrs. Brewer, who carefully curated a library selection to ensure we were represented in books and so we knew that everyone’s cultures and communities had contributed to the wealth of shared knowledge. And Mrs. Cattle, who we voted to represent our senior class because of how she encouraged us in gym class to understand that life is not a race but a marathon. That it’s more about teamwork, collaboration and effort, not who was the biggest, strongest and fastest of us all.
And the late and great Mrs. Schaff-Wyrwas, my guidance counselor. She helped a lost and nervous first-generation university-bound student like me navigate the application process and celebrate my acceptance. I see you. Happy Mother’s Day to the educators and mentors who mother through teaching and care.
Some women open their hearts through adoption. They navigate questions, identity, healing and belonging while building families rooted in commitment. They choose children they did not give birth to and love them fully. I see you. Happy Mother’s Day to the adoptive mothers around the world.
Some people never had biological children yet have poured into lives for decades. They mentor youth, guide neighbors, coach students and become steady love in a world that can be cold.
If my mother had never had children, she still would have done what she did. And that is motherhood. She still would have loved, opened her home and made room for others. She still would have created a family where others saw strangers. That is the capacity to love beyond your own. I see you. Happy Mother’s Day.
Mothers who grieve
And to the mothers who have experienced loss in all its forms, I see you too. To those who lost children. To those who lost pregnancies. To those whose children are estranged. To those raising children while grieving. To those carrying heartbreak no one else can fully see. Motherhood and grief can live in the same heart at the same time. I see you. Happy Mother’s Day.
Each of the people I celebrate this Mother’s Day reflects the beauty of motherhood.
This article is dedicated to all the mothers around the world, regardless of assigned gender or birth status, and especially to my mother, Angela Games.
You still keep loving. You still keep giving. You still keep showing up. Even through your own pain, you never stopped mothering. That kind of love cannot be measured. That kind of strength cannot be taught. Happy Mother’s Day Mommy. Thank you for all that you are and all that you have done for us and so many others, We Love You!
Angelique Sharpe, known in the community as “MsLadyInc,” works at the intersection of broken systems and resilient people. She lifts their voices and helps organize solutions. Sharpe was recently named the Entrepreneur in Residence at Milwaukee Public Library. You can visit her website here.
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