In a world where women are often silenced, Denise Pitchford of Leaders Follow Educational Foundation got Black women from Milwaukee who are 19 to 98 to co-author a book called “If This Pen Could Talk.”
The women from different generations came together to write personal stories on identity, motherhood, loss and more, with the intention of donating all proceeds to first-generation college students.
“Other people get our stories and tell it for us,” Pitchford said. “Sometimes sharing our own stories gives someone else permission to tell theirs.”
Leaders Follow Educational Foundation is a nonprofit that connects first-generation college students with mentors, leadership development and other resources throughout their college journey, according to Pitchford. The organization partnered with JazzyRae’ Legacy Foundation to award the proceeds to six first-generation college students.
“The first year is always the roughest,” Pitchford said.
Have to start from somewhere
Pitchford said Chicken Soup for the Soul, an old book collection that featured hundreds of different stories about hope, real life experiences and other inspirational messages, inspired her to curate “If This Pen Could Talk.”
After gathering approximately 60 women who were lifelong friends, colleagues, family or church members, Pitchford introduced the concept. Forty-nine of them contributed to the book’s 10 chapters.
“Some of them wrote through tears and fear,” Pitchford said. “Some wrote anonymously and some wrote through hesitation.”
Among the contributing authors was Pitchford’s friend Shelon Wade, 54, who wrote a section called “First Name Mama, Last Name Grace,” because she wanted to share the grace that God had given her through her journey of being a teen mom who raised four amazing children. Wade said she’s still healing from emotions she never knew existed.
“I wanted to give God credit,” Wade said. “It’s not easy and I’m not perfect, but the grace of God makes a difference.”
She said she felt nervous to share this particular story because writing it bought back memories and feelings of insecurity.
“Many don’t know my story because I don’t really talk about that as much,” Wade said. “I discovered a little piece of my heart that did not forget the things that people said about me. I didn’t forget feeling ostracized, feeling ashamed and I didn’t forget that I wanted to be a perfect mom.”
Wade and Pitchford said women and girls tend to suppress themselves with things that don’t make them feel the best. They sometimes refuse to share their stories because they feel like they’re the only ones going through it and would rather hide when feeling ashamed.
Pitchford said sometimes sharing your story helps someone else tell theirs.
“When people look at me, they’re looking at an empty nester who’s been married a long time,” she said. “However, I don’t want the story, the struggle and the triumph of me mothering my child at such a young age and the other children God gave me to get hidden.”
Wade didn’t want to keep hiding the struggles and triumphs she faced in motherhood. She hopes her story serves as a blessing to others, especially to the award recipients because she was a smart student who didn’t have the chance to attend college, but her children did.
“I got married young and I don’t regret that, but I didn’t grasp that I could be married, go to school and do all the other things,” Wade said. “Just because you didn’t get it doesn’t mean you can’t encourage the ones that you’re raising.”
Learning who to call on
Zoey Calvin, 19, is the youngest contributing author to the anthology. She wrote a section called “Emergency Contact,” which outlined the challenges she and her two younger siblings faced in the foster care system, like living in group homes, being abandoned at 14 and trying to be a good role model.
Calvin said she named it that because her journey is a representation of the faith she had in God to be where she is now.
“I never had an emergency contact or someone’s name to put down when applying for something or when I want a job,” Calvin said. “God was my emergency contact all along and all I needed was to call on him.”
Calvin was in the middle of writing her own book and is still getting accustomed to telling people about how her vulnerable background shaped her. She wants Black women who read her story to understand the resilience it took for her to make it through.
“In the foster care system, it’s hard to connect and relate to other people because they don’t understand what it feels like,” she said. “I’m turning my story into purpose, and it’s not something I’m afraid of.”
Calvin, a neuroscience and psychology major at Marquette University, said she’s happy the book is helping others get the support they need to get through college.
“Even I struggle without having that backbone to lean on because I don’t have a family or a mom and dad I can call on to give me an extra $20 when I need it,” she said. “I want the girls to know that there is support, there are programs and things you can do to make it and be the best you can to reach your dreams.”
Finding the path to healing
First-generation college student Dina Abercrombie, 58, also contributed to “If This Pen Could Talk.” She said she initially felt challenged because she had to come from a place of vulnerability, but she later felt proud she took the opportunity.
“I always wanted to write, but I felt intimidated,” Abercrombie said.
Abercrombie wrote essays about what it means to be a good girlfriend and how there’s different levels to healing.
“It came from my experiences growing up with my mom, who was a great girlfriend to her friends that she still has to this day,” Abercrombie said. “I also wanted to encourage women that healing is a journey that isn’t going to happen overnight.”
Abercrombie said that Black women have endured cycles of racism, sexism, classism and more, yet they were still able to be successful.
“It’s healing from trauma in your past, decisions that you’ve made, shame and understanding that there is more to come in your life,” she said. “I serve a God that can heal immediately, but it can also heal in progress.”
Abercrombie wants young Black women to know that there are other women with common experiences that they can go to, and that overcoming trauma is possible.
“There’s so many that have come before you, that have been there and done that and I hope that the women of our younger generations don’t have it as hard as we did,” she said. “Whatever they endure and overcome is because they stand on the shoulders of women that absolutely have.”
Finally being liberated
Pitchford said each story in “If This Pen Could Talk” resonated with her in different ways, as each contributing writer wrote from a personal place. She agreed with Wade and Abercrombie that Black women of different generations are living through similar experiences.
“We all have the same experiences, we’re just viewing them from different lenses,” she said. “I feel like what has changed the most is the freedom that women get to be themselves.”
The contributing authors said they’re grateful that Pitchford saw the need for Black women of different generations to come out of their shells to tell their stories and support emerging generations.
“If Denise hadn’t provoked or pushed a button, we don’t even know if some of these stories would have been heard,” Wade said.
You can pick up a copy of “If This Pen Could Talk” on Amazon here.
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