At 17, Capitol Heights resident Daija “Chanelle” Thompson became the first author in her family when she wrote a book on finding your identity.
Now 23, she’s published a second book, “Monroe,” to help youths and older adults redefine what success is, especially those who feel empty even though they might have everything they need.
“My definition of success has expanded to include purpose, character and faith,” Thompson said. “This book was targeted towards dreamers who aspire to be successful, live a different life and do things that they’ve never seen done before.”
“Monroe” is a novel about a girl who becomes successful but still feels unfulfilled, so she tries searching for what’s missing through love, money and more.
“We always focus our lives on trying to get into a certain spot or be in a certain place, but we never talk about what it actually feels like,” Thompson said. “People think that if they get it all then they’ll be satisfied.”
She said she has the gift of dreaming big regardless of her life experiences, and wants to offer tips to youths, young adults and seniors who struggle with the dissatisfaction of their success.
Change your perception and let the journey shape you
Thompson’s first tip is to remind people that an unmet goal doesn’t make you inadequate. She said Miley Cyrus’ song “The Climb” serves as a reminder to her that it’s about what you’ve learned on the journey to becoming, not the destination itself.
“It’s about your character development, skills you’ve gained and people you meet,” she said. “Don’t be so focused on the goal that you missed what you learned.”
Pastor Eva Dotson, 44, said she wished she would have learned this skill when she was younger.
“We often dream about the moment when everything comes together, when the doors open, the vision becomes the reality and we finally see the fruit of our labor,” said Dotson, a resident of Lapham Park. “We don’t always understand that sometimes success can feel like a nightmare while you’re living it out.”
While on the journey to becoming, Thompson said she learned that negative criticism can become free advice to becoming better.
“If everyone is always telling you what you always want to hear and at the top of everything, then you’re not going to grow,” she said.
Don’t put an age or time on it
Thompson said that people often become dissatisfied because of the pressure they feel to achieve different milestones by a certain age and time. She said they forget to factor in unforeseen circumstances that can cause them to switch gears.
“A parent could possibly get sick and you may have to take the year off from school or work, or you may not be able to go out of town because you can’t afford it,” she said. “Sometimes, we freely plan things, but we don’t calculate what could go wrong.”
Thompson and Dotson both believe that social media is playing a role in how youths set goals because of comparisons and the struggle to separate identity from accomplishments.
“We live in a world where young people are constantly being pulled in different directions, comparing their lives to what they see others accomplishing and measuring their worth by recognition, popularity or material achievement,” Dotson said. “Stay focused on your own assignment.”
Thompson said she once felt like she was behind after comparing her milestones to others, but then realized that accomplishments don’t make her worthy.
“There are people planning to be married by 25, have their dream career at 23, but that’s not how life always works out,” Thompson said. “You have to know who it is that you’re looking up to, and your mind has to be strong enough to know that everything we see is not real.”
It’s OK to start over
Thompson said there are older adults who feel like they’re too old to start over, which is a setback from satisfaction.
She encourages them to not look back at what they could have done when they were younger, when it can still be done now. You’re never too old to walk in your purpose, she said.
“If you’re not dead, then you still have time to do what you have been created to do, and the greatest time to start will always be today,” she said. “There’s people graduating college at 60.”
Become a confident trailblazer
Thompson said she thinks some people are dissatisfied because they are afraid of becoming trailblazers and trying new things.
“It’s hard for trailblazers because there’s no manual,” she said. “Don’t let your wildest dreams live in your head, so start taking steps to make it a reality.”
Thompson followed her own advice, becoming a licensed chef and opening a culinary business called Chef Daij. She said that goal began in her imagination.
“My cousins and I used to have an imaginary restaurant called Breakfast Cakes,” she said. “Then when I moved into my first apartment, cooking became my therapy, but my friends would come over and taste the food and said I needed to be someone’s chef.”
After doing research, creating a logo, purchasing chef attire, getting licensed and creating a mock setup, Thompson began taking the new endeavor more seriously.
Thompson’s mom, Monae Ellis, hopes that her daughter’s testimony teaches people that it’s important to go your own way and not chase concepts of who society thinks you should be.
“Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing in life,” Ellis said. “Don’t chase what other people are chasing, and follow the path that’s meant for your journey.”
Celebrate ‘baby’ wins
Thompson encourages dreamers to make it a habit to celebrate the small wins.
“Don’t be so hyper-fixated on a specific goal without celebrating the progress it takes to get there,” she said.
Thompson celebrates herself through alphabet dating, a trend in which individuals or couples plan dates based on the letters in the alphabet.
“The letter A can be for an art gallery, then I’ll dress up and go celebrate,” she said.
She also enjoys taking herself to dinner, getting herself flowers and other self-care activities.
“Sometimes it doesn’t have to be anything tied to money,” she said. “Sometimes I take my journal and write letters to myself.”
Understanding success
Ellis, Dotson and Thompson hope that youths, young adults and seniors will read “Monroe,” and that the book will help them understand that success is more than gaining credentials.
“Success is built through hard work, discipline and creating a strong foundation with Christ,” Ellis said. “Society sets us up with false narratives of life goals and expectations that one is to achieve, be viewed as successful and complete, but only God will fulfill one’s soul completely.”
Thompson is hosting her first book-signing in Chicago on Saturday, Dec. 5 and is hoping to host another in Milwaukee.
Republish our articles for free, online or in print, under a Creative Commons license.
